ONEThe Telephone CallThe cell phone rang. The tall, beefy guy peered at the screen and said to the woman across the table: “Gotta take this. Be right back.”
He went outside, trying to suck in his potbelly. He wasn’t accustomed to it, and it kept surprising him: images in the mirror, pressure on his belt, the reaction of his partner as he moved atop her body.
“Hello?”
The familiar voice replied, “I counted nine rings. You made me wait.”
“Sorry. I was in a restaurant and came outside.”
“We have a problem.”
“I hear you.”
“I will explain it to you intelligently and carefully, and you will attempt to respond the same way.”
“Okay.”
“You remember the nature walk we took?”
“This morning?”
“What did I just say? Intelligently and carefully. No times, no dates, no hours.”
“Sorry.”
“It was a nice walk.”
Silence.
“You didn’t hear what I said? It was a nice walk.”
“I heard you.”
“You didn’t respond.”
“You wanted intelligent and careful. Whaddya want?”
“What kind of language is that? Say: ‘What sort of response?’ ”
“Okay.”
“ ‘Okay’ is not enough. Say what I said.”
The young man contracted his belly and released it at once. “What sort of response?”
“You could have said whether you agree or disagree with what I said.”
“About what?”
“About our nature walk.”
“I agree. It was a very nice nature walk.”
“You should have answered immediately. Twice you made me wait. First the ringing and now the response.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t you ever make me wait.”
“Okay.”
“Do you remember where we relaxed at the end of the walk?”
“Sure do. In the wadi under the big carob tree.”
“What did I say? Intelligently and carefully. No times, no places, no names.”
“I didn’t say names.”
“You said ‘carob,’ no?”
The young man gently made a fist with his right hand and studied it. It was wrapped in a white bandage, and only his fingertips protruded. His eyes, small and close together, shut for a moment and opened, as from pain that recurs when its origin is recalled.
I visualize him in my mind. He stands outside the restaurant, considers his boots, lifts his left leg a little, rubs the shiny square boot tip on the right leg of his pants.
And I hear his interlocutor continue: “If you had only said ‘carob’—-that’s one thing. Only ‘big’—-not so terrible. But ‘the big carob,’ noun and adjective and the definite article—-this is serving it up on a plate. Bon appétit, please eat. Not just any tree: a carob. Not just any carob, a big carob. And just not any big carob: the big carob in the wadi. This is a wording that limits the possibilities. This is why language was invented, so things will be clear. But for us, clear is very bad. Do you understand?”
“Yes. I’m sorry.”
“Enough apologizing. Just pay attention.”
“Okay.”
“Good. Now the point. The point is we forgot something there.”
“The gas gizmo you made us tea on?”
“More important.”
“The sugar spoon?”
“Would we be having a conversation like this about a spoon? Think back and remember. For once use your brain properly. Even a small brain can achieve results if operated correctly. And when you do remember what it is, don’t say it. Just say: ‘I know what you are talking about.’ ”
“I’m thinking.”
Silence.
“Again you’re making me wait.”
Silence.
“I remember. I know what you are talking about.”
“So go there, look for it, find it, and bring it to me.”
“How urgent?”
“If someone else finds it before us, it will be very bad.”
“I’m outta here in half a minute. Go looking with the flashlight.”
“A lost cause. That’s what you are. A lost cause. ‘I will go and look.’ Say it: ‘I will go and look.’ I want for once to hear you speak properly.”
“I will go and look.”
“And don’t make me mad anymore.”
“Sorry.”
“And don’t go there now with a flashlight. It’s dark now. Someone could see the light from far away. Go very early tomorrow.”
“First thing in the morning.”
“At dawn. And don’t park in the usual place. Find another spot, continue on foot, get there at first light, and start looking.”
“Okay.”
“How’s your hand?”
“Okay.”
“It hurts?”
“Less.”
“You put on a bandage?”
“Why would I?”
“So you shouldn’t get rabies.”
“Okay.”
“And let out your belly already. I can feel it without even seeing you. Go on, send your girlfriend home and go to sleep. You have to get up early tomorrow. She doesn’t need to know what time you leave.”
Copyright © 2016 by Meir Shalev. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
