gerald, slackbot
gerald
help
slackbot
I can help by answering simple questions about how Slack works. I’m just a bot, though! If you need more help, try our Help Center for loads of useful information about Slack.
gerald
uninstall
slackbot
I searched for that on our Help Center. Perhaps these articles will help:
• Change your time zone
• Manage your password
gerald
please help me
slackbot
I can help by answering simple questions about how Slack works. I’m just a bot, though!
gerald
uninstall self
slackbot
I’m sorry, I don’t understand! Sometimes I have an easier time with a few simple keywords. Or you can head to our wonderful Help Center for more assistance!
#nyc-office
kerolyn
so this spreadsheet
gerald
yes?
kerolyn
was it like, special?
gerald
not particularly
tripp
what were the contents of the spreadsheet
gerald
does that really matter
kerolyn
it must
clearly
Nikki
Clearly it must, for all this to have happened.
gerald
coats
tripp
no comprende
Nikki
https://protect-us.mimecast.com/s/d2I8CYEMxVhL6ZplMC0Ji8o?domain=en.wikipedia.org
Coats
Coats may refer to [read more]
tripp
thank you, Nikki
unnecessary
but thank you
Nikki
You’re welcome.
kerolyn
explain the coats, @gerald
gerald
it was a spreadsheet of different winter coats that I was considering purchasing
broken down by price, probable warmth, and other deciding factors
tripp
“other deciding factors”
such as
gerald
Predicted Attractiveness In Coat was a factor
tripp
lol
huge
Nikki
You built out a spreadsheet for that?
kerolyn
no, I get that
gerald
it’s a big decision, financially
kerolyn
it’s a big purchase
exactly
jinx
gerald
is that what you think it is, maybe? a jinx
kerolyn
that’s not what I meant
gerald
maybe you’re right though
Nikki, pradeep, Louis C
Nikki
Why do we have these calls?
What is he even saying?
pradeep
I have no idea
I tune out whenever this dude talks
what’s his role over there again?
Louis C
He’s their comms director.
pradeep
if they have a comms director then why did they hire us?
Louis C
Because he isn’t a very good comms director.
Nikki
You’re both missing my point.
I mean, *what is he actually saying*?
It sounds like he’s taking this call from the bottom of a well.
pradeep
if he’s been stuck in a well for a while, that might explain his grasp of like
the entire internet
Louis C
I believe their offices are located in the greater Tampa area.
Nikki
Is this what Tampa sounds like?
pradeep
please tell me this dude didn’t just say “myspace”
please tell me I did not just hear him say that
Louis C
Yes. This is what Tampa sounds like.
#nyc-office
kerolyn
which channel were you going to upload a spreadsheet about coats into?
gerald
#gents-only
Nikki
You’re joking.
gerald
you guys made a women-only one!!
kerolyn
not the same
Nikki
Not the same.
tripp
why was I not invited??
gerald
we’re getting off-topic
point is that’s the spreadsheet I was trying to upload when I got stuck
and now I’m just kinda, in here
tripp
@gerald invite me to #gents-only
gerald
I’m trying to explain why I’m not in the office rn
tripp
@gerald invite me to #gents-only, you coward
doug smorin
done
tripp
bless u
doug smorin
missed a lot of messages
someone recap for me?
kerolyn
gerald says he can’t come in to work today because he uploaded a spreadsheet wrong, somehow, and now he’s stuck inside slack
or smth
doug smorin
what
kerolyn
that’s what we were investigating
gerald
I know it sounds like bullshit
tripp
should file a ticket with google suite maybe
would be a real significant bug
I’m checking their troubleshooting page rn and it doesn’t look like there’s a section dedicated to users getting Tron’d
gerald
I don’t know how to get un-stuck
tripp
weird that they wouldn’t include that! if it was a real thing that happened!
doug smorin
okay, Gerald, just work from home
gerald
or like, back into my body
doug smorin
but send an email next time
@here FYI please send me or kerolyn an email if you need to call out
I don’t usually look at slack if I have calls
kerolyn
:thumbsup:
lydia
omg Gerald!! sry I’m so late to this!!
get well soon!!!
gerald
help
#gents-only
rob
she had too many teeth
pradeep
???
what does that mean.
rob
exactly what it sounds like?
Copyright © 2021 by Calvin Kasulke. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.