Definition of Resent: Feel Bothered By Cal moved in
a little more than a year ago.
He wasn’t exactly a stranger.
Aunt Caryn was his mom,
and she and my mom were more than sisters.
They were identical twins.
Two halves of a whole, Mom called them.
They were close, but they
didn’t live near each other.
Aunt Caryn moved to Arizona
before Cal was born.
She visited once in a while
and came to a couple of family
reunions. Talk about trouble!
I guess when Aunt Caryn met
Cal’s dad and dropped out
of college, it made Grandma mad.
They hardly talk at all anymore, Mom told me once.
And when they do, they end up shouting.“So why does Aunt Caryn
go to the reunions?” I asked.
“Grandma’s always there.
Caryn still wants to be part of the family, and she wants Cal to know his relatives. “I think Grandma should
forgive her,” I said.
I think so, too. But my mother
has a hard time with forgiveness.
She thinks it’s a sign of weakness.Grandma still hadn’t forgiven
her when Aunt Caryn died.
I’ll never forget that day.
Mom cried and cried.
When she finally stopped,
her face was so puffed up,
I could barely see her eyes.
I lost a piece of myself, she said.
Maybe Cal living with us
is like getting that piece back.
Maybe that’s why Mom lets him
get away with everything,
from pranks to meltdowns to lies.
I’m sorry, but I resent that.
Try to find a little sympathy,Mom urges.
After Caryn passed,
things got pretty rough for Cal.His dad took him after
the funeral, but the details
of the next two years are a mystery.
And no one’s giving out clues.
You’ll have to wait for Cal to tell
you, Mom says.
It’s not up to me.
Whatever happened, I feel sorry
for Cal. If my mom died, I’d be lost.
Cal must feel lost sometimes, too.
So, yeah, I want to forgive his quirks.
Copyright © 2020 by Ellen Hopkins. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
