Part 1
Rules of Amazement
Quadrillion-Dollar Cows
(And Other Crazy Facts About Money)
People do crazy things for money, and throughout history, they have also used crazy things as money. Cows, stones, and gold coins that weigh a hundred kilograms have all served as currency. Naturally, as soon as a new form of money pops into circulation, a new form of criminal will begin trying to knock it off (with the exception of cows; I couldn’t find any historical references to criminals trying to pass fake cows as cash). Bottom line: for thousands of years, money has made the world go round and made people go nuts.
Cows are the oldest currency in the world.1 Cows were domesticated in roughly 9000 BC and people began using them as currency almost immediately. In fact, in parts of Africa, cows are still used as money. A couple of years ago, a South African software developer created a firestorm when he developed an app to assess a woman’s lobola, or “bride price,” as a combination of cash and cattle. According to that app, a twenty-five-year-old woman with a job who considers herself to be “very beautiful” and has both children and a high school certificate would command a price of “$500 and no cows” on the marital market. After being (appropriately) perceived as offensive, sexist, and degrading to women, the app was updated to include a groom price as well. Classy move.
The oldest bank still in operation today isn’t exactly a “mountain of piety.”2 The Monte di Pietà was founded in 1472 in what was then the Republic of Siena. In 1624 when the bank was incorporated into Tuscany, it was given its current name, Banca Monte dei Paschi di Siena. The bank’s beautiful headquarters in Siena look like the perfect setting for a Hollywood heist movie; in fact, the building has seen its fair share of high-level drama and scandal over the years. In 2013, it was revealed that mismanagement, fraud, poor investments, and misinformation had left the bank in financial ruin and in need of a bailout. As I write this, the Monte dei Paschi di Siena’s future is still up in the air.
The U.S. Secret Service protects more money than Presidents.3 According to secretservice.gov, the U.S. Secret Service, the organization we most often associate with protecting the personal safety of the President of the United States, “was created on July 5, 1865 in Washington, D.C., to suppress counterfeit currency.” At the time, it was estimated that at least a third of the currency in circulation in the country was fake. The Secret Service didn’t begin to take on presidential protection until 1902, which is too bad because, ironically, President Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth the day Lincoln established the Secret Service. For the past 115 years, the Secret Service has continued to investigate fraud while also ensuring the safety of foreign and domestic diplomats. From 2003 to 2008, the organization made nearly 29,000 arrests for counterfeiting, cybercrime, and financial crimes, and seized nearly $300 million in counterfeit currency, while preventing nearly $12 billion in losses. Guess that means protecting the president’s backside is actually their side gig.
A Tale of Two Counterfeiters:
Old School4 and Bold School?5
In 1938, some funny money started turning up around Manhattan. The counterfeit bills were unique for a few different reasons: They were very poorly executed, they were used infrequently (no more than fifty per month), and they were all one-dollar bills. Most counterfeiters during that time (and most other times) favored larger bills. After all, if you were going to risk imprisonment, conventional wisdom said that you might want to manufacture more than just petty cash. The other confusing aspect to this counterfeit case was that the bills were never used at the same location twice. Authorities were baffled. Who was this crazy counterfeiter? For ten years, the Secret Service hunted for this one-dollar bandit, referring to him by his case number as “Mr. 880.”
As it turns out, Mr. 880 was an old widower named Edward Mueller. Mr. Mueller had spent most of his life as an average Joe, but when his wife passed away something inside him snapped. He quit his job, became a junk collector, and then started printing the extra cash when he realized that his new profession wouldn’t exactly pay the bills for him and his dog.
The manhunt for Mr. 880 was frustrating both financially and morally for the Secret Service. Every time one of his fake bills showed up, agents would be dispatched to the business where the cash was passed. The agents would then take great pains to educate the shopkeepers on what to look for when trying to spot fake currency. However, because Mueller never hit the same joint twice, the training was a waste of time. Mr. 880 was finally caught in 1945 at the age of seventy-three. He was sentenced to a year in jail but his sentence was eventually reduced to four months. A movie about him was made in 1950 called Mister 880, starring Burt Lancaster. Mueller made more money from that movie than he did during his entire counterfeiting career.
Now, if Mueller’s four-month prison sentence seems a little bit light, wait until you read about this next guy. . . .
Frank Bourassa was a small-time Canadian drug dealer and former car thief when he began making counterfeit U.S. twenty-dollar bills in the late 2000s. Funny enough, Bourassa learned exactly what features he needed to include in his fake bills by studying U.S. government websites. He struck a deal with a European paper mill for the perfect stock by convincing them he was making twenty-dollar bonds. Armed with materials and knowledge, Bourassa then printed $250 million in U.S. twenties and began selling them to overseas buyers at thirty cents on the dollar. Eventually, he sold to an undercover agent and was arrested for counterfeiting in 2014. But that’s when Bourassa’s story really gets interesting. Upon arresting Bourassa at his house, police found roughly a million dollars in counterfeit bills. Over the next couple of months, as Canadian and U.S. forces searched for more fake cash, Bourassa struck a deal with his prosecutors: He would turn over an additional $200 million if they agreed to let him off with time served. In the end, the prospect of keeping the fake $200 million out of circulation was too good to pass up and the authorities let Bourassa go free. Thus, one of the most prolific counterfeiters in history now works as a consultant and life coach, offering services that range from “brand protection and fraud shielding” to “shattering the limits of possibilities” on his website, mastercounterfeiter.com.
The biggest coins in the world come from the island of Yap.6 One type of currency that is in no danger of being knocked off is the rai stones from the Dr. Seuss–sounding island of Yap. In fact, I am going to tell you about the stones as though I were Dr. Seuss.
Long ago the island of Yap had no money.
Transactions were confusing and not at all funny.
Then explorers arrived with limestone from afar
that was carved into disks, some as large as your car.
They were called the rai stones.
All the locals approved.
But they were quite tough to trade for they couldn’t be moved.
So the people kept track of the stones that they owned.
They passed small ones around, left the large ones alone.
The system made sense.
It wasn’t so hard.
You could spend money that sat in my yard.
Okay, that’s enough Seuss for now. The Bank of Canada in Ottawa actually has one of the large rai stones on display in its lobby. I wonder how many customers think the stone is actually a prehistoric hockey puck. . . .
FAN FACT: If you spin a penny ten thousand times, it won’t land on heads 50 percent of the time. The heads picture actually weighs more than the tails image, so it ends up on the bottom more often.7
—Russell Frazee, Troy, N.Y.
The $10,000 bill is still legal in the U.S. (if you can find one).8 In 1928 and 1934, the U.S. Treasury printed roughly fifty thousand $10K notes. Of those, roughly 330 have survived deterioration and destruction. The large notes feature Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of the treasury, Salmon P. Chase, the man who introduced paper currency into the economy during the civil war. (A few fun facts about Chase: He was the governor of Ohio, a senator, the secretary of the treasury, and the chief justice of the Supreme Court. Also, he was married three times and each of his wives died young. Hmmm . . .) Of the 330 bills left in circulation, 100 of them were part of a wall display that hung in the Horseshoe casino in downtown Las Vegas for forty-five years, until that display was sold to a private collector in 2000. Asked why the display was taken down, casino ownership stated: “People are not as impressed about a million dollars as they used to be. When it first went up, it was like looking at a billion dollars.”9
A $10,000 bill is nothing compared to Canada’s $1,000,000 coin.10 In 2007, the Royal Canadian Mint made a handful of 99.999 percent pure gold coins, worth $1,000,000 and weighing 100 kg each. At the time, they were the first million-dollar coins ever made. One side of the massive coin features Queen Elizabeth II, while the reverse side is adorned with a hand-polished maple leaf. Initially, only five of these coins were made and they were all immediately snatched up by jewelers and collectors for an average price of roughly $2,300,000. Scarcity certainly does drive up the price. In fact, when contacted by Canadian press, one of the first buyers, a jeweler in Vancouver, revealed that he had quickly “flipped” the coin at a significant premium to one of his investors. What does one do with a 100 kg coin? Mount it on the wall? Make a coffee table out of it? Build a bank to keep it in or, better yet, a giant cash register?
FAN FACT: Romania’s currency is the leu, which translates to “lion” in English.11
—Filip, Bucharest, Romania
Zimbabwe once had a $100,000,000,000,000 bill.12 In 2009, Zimbabwe introduced a one-hundred-trillion-dollar bank note. However, before you envision a well-dressed African tycoon using one of these bills to buy entire continents in cash, keep in mind that the value of the $100,000,000,000,000 bill was only about thirty American dollars. The massive notes came about as a result of hyperinflation during a period of economic instability and transition that began in the 1990s and continued until the country phased out their own currency in favor of the U.S. dollar in 2015. By June 2015, the Zimbabwe dollar was so worthless that it could be exchanged at a rate of thirty-five quadrillion dollars to one U.S. dollar, which means that for nearly a year the country was full of quadrillion-dollar cows.
Bonus Facts!
Instead of GNP, Bhutan measures growth and prosperity by gross national happiness. It has been doing this since 1971.13
Famous celebrities often use ink as currency.14 Marlon Brando didn’t like to sign autographs, which is why his personal checks are worth far more than the amounts of money for which they are written. The artist Salvador Dalí used to draw on his checks as a way of getting out of paying for dinner. He knew his artsy doodles would be more valuable than the cost of his meal and the checks would never be cashed.
Rules of Amazement
Crazy Laws from History and Beyond
I could fill an entire book with crazy laws from around the world. One chapter could compare the age children can get married with the age they are allowed to drink beer. Another section could focus entirely on laws governing the ownership of and interaction with pets (because some countries get weird when it comes to puppy love). I could cover hypocritical laws, hippopotamus laws, and hip-replacement laws. However, as you are likely aware, I am not a lawyer. I am but a simple former Canadian accountant with an attention span incapable of supporting an entire book on a single topic. Therefore, rather than curating an entire catalogue of laws, I will present to you an album of the globe’s greatest legal hits and misses.
The Ancient Extremists
In medieval Japan, samurai could kill peasants in order to test a new sword or fighting style.1 This is reason number one million why it sucked to be a peasant in medieval Japan. Can you imagine? You’re walking home from a fifteen-hour day of farming someone else’s land when a samurai approaches you on the road:
“What’s up, Steve?”
“Not much, Gary. Oh, hey, I got a new sword.”
“Cool. Can I see it?”
“Yeah, man. I think I might actually test it on your face.”
“Oh. That sucks. But, hey, what can I do, right? It’s the law.”
“Sure is. Now pretend like you’re an enemy attacker. . . .”
The practice was called tsujigiri, which translates to “crossroads killing,” and it usually happened at night. I could not find any statistics drawing a correlation between samurai who took advantage of this law drunk versus sober, but my guess is that there was usually some sake involved.
In Draconian Greece, the penalty for stealing a cabbage was death.2 In 600 BC, most Greek laws were passed down orally, which meant that people tried to learn what was and wasn’t legal via giant games of telephone. Draco was the first guy in town to inject a little consistency into the legal code. First, he decided to write down the laws so people could remember what they were. Next, he decided to simplify the penal code by making death the penalty for just about every crime (though sometimes offenders could get off easy with a lifetime of slavery). Draco’s punishments were so harsh, in fact, that today the term draconian means overly severe or cruel.
Fun Fact: As legend would have it, Draco’s death was caused by his popularity. Apparently, ancient Greek audiences showed support for a speaker by throwing their clothes at him, and one time Draco gave such a bangin’ TED talk that the audience smothered him with coats and undies and he suffocated and died.3 The universe apparently didn’t take kindly to Draco having people killed for stealing cabbage. That’s karma, bro.
Exporting cats was illegal in Ancient Egypt.4 It is well known that cats were associated with gods in ancient Egypt. They were revered in both life and death. Many prominent cats were even mummified and buried with a stash (milk, food, etc.) for the afterlife. When a cat passed away, its human family members would shave off their eyebrows as a symbol of mourning.5 What is less well known, however, is that not only were Egyptians crazy passionate about their cats, they were also super selfish with their cats. It was illegal, in fact, to export Egyptian cats to other countries, and there was an entire branch of government established to police the black market cat trade. “Ancient Egyptian Cat Cops” sounds like a really cool comic book. Too bad it would be illegal in Canada, because . . .
Prudes in the Present
Canada doesn’t approve of comic books with criminal elements.6 In 2013, the Canadian government passed Bill C-13, which was aimed at penalizing cyberbullies, revenge pornographers, and (apparently) Batman. The bill reaffirmed existing Canadian law banning the publication, sale, or distribution of “crime comics.” Check this out:
163. (7) In this section, “crime comic” means a magazine, periodical, or book that exclusively or substantially comprises matter depicting pictorially:
(a) the commission of crimes, real or fictitious; or
(b) events connected with the commission of crimes, real or fictitious, whether occurring before or after the commission of the crime.7
What is Canadian Batman supposed to do? Hunt down guys with bad attitudes? Defend Gotham from chefs with undereducated palates? How will Canadian children learn the difference between good guys and bad guys if they are never exposed to bad guys?
Luckily, there is a silver lining for C-13: It could end up helping Canadian children become more passionate lovers. In 1950, during Canada’s first legislative assault on crime comics, the marketplace responded with a flood of “love comics” intended to win over the attention of teenagers.8 Essentially they replaced “shoot-’em-ups” with “hug-it-outs,” which of course resulted in Canadian baby boomers being known as the cuddliest generation (or at least that’s how they should be known).9
Part 1
Rules of Amazement
Quadrillion-Dollar Cows
(And Other Crazy Facts About Money)
People do crazy things for money, and throughout history, they have also used crazy things as money. Cows, stones, and gold coins that weigh a hundred kilograms have all served as currency. Naturally, as soon as a new form of money pops into circulation, a new form of criminal will begin trying to knock it off (with the exception of cows; I couldn’t find any historical references to criminals trying to pass fake cows as cash). Bottom line: for thousands of years, money has made the world go round and made people go nuts.
Cows are the oldest currency in the world.1 Cows were domesticated in roughly 9000 BC and people began using them as currency almost immediately. In fact, in parts of Africa, cows are still used as money. A couple of years ago, a South African software developer created a firestorm when he developed an app to assess a woman’s lobola, or “bride price,” as a combination of cash and cattle. According to that app, a twenty-five-year-old woman with a job who considers herself to be “very beautiful” and has both children and a high school certificate would command a price of “$500 and no cows” on the marital market. After being (appropriately) perceived as offensive, sexist, and degrading to women, the app was updated to include a groom price as well. Classy move.
The oldest bank still in operation today isn’t exactly a “mountain of piety.”2 The Monte di Pietà was founded in 1472 in what was then the Republic of Siena. In 1624 when the bank was incorporated into Tuscany, it was given its current name, Banca Monte dei Paschi di Siena. The bank’s beautiful headquarters in Siena look like the perfect setting for a Hollywood heist movie; in fact, the building has seen its fair share of high-level drama and scandal over the years. In 2013, it was revealed that mismanagement, fraud, poor investments, and misinformation had left the bank in financial ruin and in need of a bailout. As I write this, the Monte dei Paschi di Siena’s future is still up in the air.
The U.S. Secret Service protects more money than Presidents.3 According to secretservice.gov, the U.S. Secret Service, the organization we most often associate with protecting the personal safety of the President of the United States, “was created on July 5, 1865 in Washington, D.C., to suppress counterfeit currency.” At the time, it was estimated that at least a third of the currency in circulation in the country was fake. The Secret Service didn’t begin to take on presidential protection until 1902, which is too bad because, ironically, President Lincoln was assassinated by John Wilkes Booth the day Lincoln established the Secret Service. For the past 115 years, the Secret Service has continued to investigate fraud while also ensuring the safety of foreign and domestic diplomats. From 2003 to 2008, the organization made nearly 29,000 arrests for counterfeiting, cybercrime, and financial crimes, and seized nearly $300 million in counterfeit currency, while preventing nearly $12 billion in losses. Guess that means protecting the president’s backside is actually their side gig.
A Tale of Two Counterfeiters:
Old School4 and Bold School?5
In 1938, some funny money started turning up around Manhattan. The counterfeit bills were unique for a few different reasons: They were very poorly executed, they were used infrequently (no more than fifty per month), and they were all one-dollar bills. Most counterfeiters during that time (and most other times) favored larger bills. After all, if you were going to risk imprisonment, conventional wisdom said that you might want to manufacture more than just petty cash. The other confusing aspect to this counterfeit case was that the bills were never used at the same location twice. Authorities were baffled. Who was this crazy counterfeiter? For ten years, the Secret Service hunted for this one-dollar bandit, referring to him by his case number as “Mr. 880.”
As it turns out, Mr. 880 was an old widower named Edward Mueller. Mr. Mueller had spent most of his life as an average Joe, but when his wife passed away something inside him snapped. He quit his job, became a junk collector, and then started printing the extra cash when he realized that his new profession wouldn’t exactly pay the bills for him and his dog.
The manhunt for Mr. 880 was frustrating both financially and morally for the Secret Service. Every time one of his fake bills showed up, agents would be dispatched to the business where the cash was passed. The agents would then take great pains to educate the shopkeepers on what to look for when trying to spot fake currency. However, because Mueller never hit the same joint twice, the training was a waste of time. Mr. 880 was finally caught in 1945 at the age of seventy-three. He was sentenced to a year in jail but his sentence was eventually reduced to four months. A movie about him was made in 1950 called Mister 880, starring Burt Lancaster. Mueller made more money from that movie than he did during his entire counterfeiting career.
Now, if Mueller’s four-month prison sentence seems a little bit light, wait until you read about this next guy. . . .
Frank Bourassa was a small-time Canadian drug dealer and former car thief when he began making counterfeit U.S. twenty-dollar bills in the late 2000s. Funny enough, Bourassa learned exactly what features he needed to include in his fake bills by studying U.S. government websites. He struck a deal with a European paper mill for the perfect stock by convincing them he was making twenty-dollar bonds. Armed with materials and knowledge, Bourassa then printed $250 million in U.S. twenties and began selling them to overseas buyers at thirty cents on the dollar. Eventually, he sold to an undercover agent and was arrested for counterfeiting in 2014. But that’s when Bourassa’s story really gets interesting. Upon arresting Bourassa at his house, police found roughly a million dollars in counterfeit bills. Over the next couple of months, as Canadian and U.S. forces searched for more fake cash, Bourassa struck a deal with his prosecutors: He would turn over an additional $200 million if they agreed to let him off with time served. In the end, the prospect of keeping the fake $200 million out of circulation was too good to pass up and the authorities let Bourassa go free. Thus, one of the most prolific counterfeiters in history now works as a consultant and life coach, offering services that range from “brand protection and fraud shielding” to “shattering the limits of possibilities” on his website, mastercounterfeiter.com.
The biggest coins in the world come from the island of Yap.6 One type of currency that is in no danger of being knocked off is the rai stones from the Dr. Seuss–sounding island of Yap. In fact, I am going to tell you about the stones as though I were Dr. Seuss.
Long ago the island of Yap had no money.
Transactions were confusing and not at all funny.
Then explorers arrived with limestone from afar
that was carved into disks, some as large as your car.
They were called the rai stones.
All the locals approved.
But they were quite tough to trade for they couldn’t be moved.
So the people kept track of the stones that they owned.
They passed small ones around, left the large ones alone.
The system made sense.
It wasn’t so hard.
You could spend money that sat in my yard.
Okay, that’s enough Seuss for now. The Bank of Canada in Ottawa actually has one of the large rai stones on display in its lobby. I wonder how many customers think the stone is actually a prehistoric hockey puck. . . .
FAN FACT: If you spin a penny ten thousand times, it won’t land on heads 50 percent of the time. The heads picture actually weighs more than the tails image, so it ends up on the bottom more often.7
—Russell Frazee, Troy, N.Y.
The $10,000 bill is still legal in the U.S. (if you can find one).8 In 1928 and 1934, the U.S. Treasury printed roughly fifty thousand $10K notes. Of those, roughly 330 have survived deterioration and destruction. The large notes feature Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of the treasury, Salmon P. Chase, the man who introduced paper currency into the economy during the civil war. (A few fun facts about Chase: He was the governor of Ohio, a senator, the secretary of the treasury, and the chief justice of the Supreme Court. Also, he was married three times and each of his wives died young. Hmmm . . .) Of the 330 bills left in circulation, 100 of them were part of a wall display that hung in the Horseshoe casino in downtown Las Vegas for forty-five years, until that display was sold to a private collector in 2000. Asked why the display was taken down, casino ownership stated: “People are not as impressed about a million dollars as they used to be. When it first went up, it was like looking at a billion dollars.”9
A $10,000 bill is nothing compared to Canada’s $1,000,000 coin.10 In 2007, the Royal Canadian Mint made a handful of 99.999 percent pure gold coins, worth $1,000,000 and weighing 100 kg each. At the time, they were the first million-dollar coins ever made. One side of the massive coin features Queen Elizabeth II, while the reverse side is adorned with a hand-polished maple leaf. Initially, only five of these coins were made and they were all immediately snatched up by jewelers and collectors for an average price of roughly $2,300,000. Scarcity certainly does drive up the price. In fact, when contacted by Canadian press, one of the first buyers, a jeweler in Vancouver, revealed that he had quickly “flipped” the coin at a significant premium to one of his investors. What does one do with a 100 kg coin? Mount it on the wall? Make a coffee table out of it? Build a bank to keep it in or, better yet, a giant cash register?
FAN FACT: Romania’s currency is the leu, which translates to “lion” in English.11
—Filip, Bucharest, Romania
Zimbabwe once had a $100,000,000,000,000 bill.12 In 2009, Zimbabwe introduced a one-hundred-trillion-dollar bank note. However, before you envision a well-dressed African tycoon using one of these bills to buy entire continents in cash, keep in mind that the value of the $100,000,000,000,000 bill was only about thirty American dollars. The massive notes came about as a result of hyperinflation during a period of economic instability and transition that began in the 1990s and continued until the country phased out their own currency in favor of the U.S. dollar in 2015. By June 2015, the Zimbabwe dollar was so worthless that it could be exchanged at a rate of thirty-five quadrillion dollars to one U.S. dollar, which means that for nearly a year the country was full of quadrillion-dollar cows.
Bonus Facts!
Instead of GNP, Bhutan measures growth and prosperity by gross national happiness. It has been doing this since 1971.13
Famous celebrities often use ink as currency.14 Marlon Brando didn’t like to sign autographs, which is why his personal checks are worth far more than the amounts of money for which they are written. The artist Salvador Dalí used to draw on his checks as a way of getting out of paying for dinner. He knew his artsy doodles would be more valuable than the cost of his meal and the checks would never be cashed.
Rules of Amazement
Crazy Laws from History and Beyond
I could fill an entire book with crazy laws from around the world. One chapter could compare the age children can get married with the age they are allowed to drink beer. Another section could focus entirely on laws governing the ownership of and interaction with pets (because some countries get weird when it comes to puppy love). I could cover hypocritical laws, hippopotamus laws, and hip-replacement laws. However, as you are likely aware, I am not a lawyer. I am but a simple former Canadian accountant with an attention span incapable of supporting an entire book on a single topic. Therefore, rather than curating an entire catalogue of laws, I will present to you an album of the globe’s greatest legal hits and misses.
The Ancient Extremists
In medieval Japan, samurai could kill peasants in order to test a new sword or fighting style.1 This is reason number one million why it sucked to be a peasant in medieval Japan. Can you imagine? You’re walking home from a fifteen-hour day of farming someone else’s land when a samurai approaches you on the road:
“What’s up, Steve?”
“Not much, Gary. Oh, hey, I got a new sword.”
“Cool. Can I see it?”
“Yeah, man. I think I might actually test it on your face.”
“Oh. That sucks. But, hey, what can I do, right? It’s the law.”
“Sure is. Now pretend like you’re an enemy attacker. . . .”
The practice was called tsujigiri, which translates to “crossroads killing,” and it usually happened at night. I could not find any statistics drawing a correlation between samurai who took advantage of this law drunk versus sober, but my guess is that there was usually some sake involved.
In Draconian Greece, the penalty for stealing a cabbage was death.2 In 600 BC, most Greek laws were passed down orally, which meant that people tried to learn what was and wasn’t legal via giant games of telephone. Draco was the first guy in town to inject a little consistency into the legal code. First, he decided to write down the laws so people could remember what they were. Next, he decided to simplify the penal code by making death the penalty for just about every crime (though sometimes offenders could get off easy with a lifetime of slavery). Draco’s punishments were so harsh, in fact, that today the term draconian means overly severe or cruel.
Fun Fact: As legend would have it, Draco’s death was caused by his popularity. Apparently, ancient Greek audiences showed support for a speaker by throwing their clothes at him, and one time Draco gave such a bangin’ TED talk that the audience smothered him with coats and undies and he suffocated and died.3 The universe apparently didn’t take kindly to Draco having people killed for stealing cabbage. That’s karma, bro.
Exporting cats was illegal in Ancient Egypt.4 It is well known that cats were associated with gods in ancient Egypt. They were revered in both life and death. Many prominent cats were even mummified and buried with a stash (milk, food, etc.) for the afterlife. When a cat passed away, its human family members would shave off their eyebrows as a symbol of mourning.5 What is less well known, however, is that not only were Egyptians crazy passionate about their cats, they were also super selfish with their cats. It was illegal, in fact, to export Egyptian cats to other countries, and there was an entire branch of government established to police the black market cat trade. “Ancient Egyptian Cat Cops” sounds like a really cool comic book. Too bad it would be illegal in Canada, because . . .
Prudes in the Present
Canada doesn’t approve of comic books with criminal elements.6 In 2013, the Canadian government passed Bill C-13, which was aimed at penalizing cyberbullies, revenge pornographers, and (apparently) Batman. The bill reaffirmed existing Canadian law banning the publication, sale, or distribution of “crime comics.” Check this out:
163. (7) In this section, “crime comic” means a magazine, periodical, or book that exclusively or substantially comprises matter depicting pictorially:
(a) the commission of crimes, real or fictitious; or
(b) events connected with the commission of crimes, real or fictitious, whether occurring before or after the commission of the crime.7
What is Canadian Batman supposed to do? Hunt down guys with bad attitudes? Defend Gotham from chefs with undereducated palates? How will Canadian children learn the difference between good guys and bad guys if they are never exposed to bad guys?
Luckily, there is a silver lining for C-13: It could end up helping Canadian children become more passionate lovers. In 1950, during Canada’s first legislative assault on crime comics, the marketplace responded with a flood of “love comics” intended to win over the attention of teenagers.8 Essentially they replaced “shoot-’em-ups” with “hug-it-outs,” which of course resulted in Canadian baby boomers being known as the cuddliest generation (or at least that’s how they should be known).9
Coming in August…Johanna Basford’s new coloring book MAGICAL JUNGLE, the Export Mass Market edition of FOOL ME ONCE by Harlan Coben, and the movie tie-in edition of THE GIRL ON THE TRAIN by Paula Hawkins! International editions and other top titles are listed immediately below. See full list of August Highlights here.
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